Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How does one acquire holy water?
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sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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