just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Panties = found
Randomize
