why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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