he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize