1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
