PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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