check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
