Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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