mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize