It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
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dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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