Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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