So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
