That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
