Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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