Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
