Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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