I have demons in me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
