i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
