Midget sex pt 2 tonight
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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