So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
