Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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