my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
