i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
