yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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