Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude i'm inner monologue high
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
