just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
