ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
