Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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