Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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