wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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