needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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