he told me I talked like a deaf person
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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