Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
