he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
