You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
