dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
