So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
