You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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