What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
