my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Drake has all the answers
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
