i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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