Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
