Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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