I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
