he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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