I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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