just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
