No awkward lesbian experiences without me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He felt like a one man threesome
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
