Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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