Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Someone shit on the floor
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
