I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
