I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
