Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
