He told me they were just razor bumps!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize