I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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