Whod you bang
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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