For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
