kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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